Questions of faith

The past week I have been doing a lot of soul searching and asking questions of my faith.

8 weeks ago a friend of mine from high school was put on hospital bed rest for the health of her twins. She was very brave and patient - more than I ever could. Meanwhile her father took a turn for the worse. It all culminated last Friday, my friend was discharged from the hospital she had spent the last 8 weeks and re-admitted to another hospital where her father was rapidly declining. Luckily she was able to have her c-section and was granted the gift of her father holding his grandbabies. I found out last night via her blog that her father has passed away.

When I heard about the extraordinary circumstances of these miraculous births my own beliefs were brought into a perspective I have avoided. I never believed that God had a plan for everyone, merely that he/she took a step back and let people make their own destiny. I don't mean to say that God isn't involved in life, but only steps in when necessary. I do believe that good people will receive good things in return and that people who do bad things will get their comeuppance. However events like these make me stop and wonder at the complexity of life. When my friend went into the hospital it seemed like a scary and unfortunate thing to have happened. But then her father's health declined and made the situation even more sad. Maybe God knew that her father wasn't long for this world and decided to give him the gift of seeing his grandchildren before he left this earth. I know there is an ever turning circle of life. Birth, life, and then death - nothing changes that cycle. I don't have words to describe the feeling that I have that these two babies were meant to be born early and my friend's father was meant to leave this world early, like souls passing each other through time. I admire my friend for her bravery at this joyous and difficult time in her life, she is very fortunate to have strong faith and a close network of loved ones around her. I feel a little sad that I don't have the same strength of faith in my chosen path. I am still questioning my role in this life and what is beyond this life.

I keep thinking about this family because every time I hear someone complain about the economy or provide doom and gloom about the world today I wonder what they are really complaining about. They are healthy, have jobs, have family - there are people in this world who are dealing with real hardships and yet still manage to look at the joy and happiness in life.

Congratulations to Abby and Eli - you are wonderful parents and the spirit of your father will live on in your children as you pass the lessons and love he gave to you.

Congratulations to Mr. Legge - I know I haven't seen you in over ten years but I have happy memories of your exuberance for life. You have raised a wonderful daughter and she is a great mother and I know you will look down upon those babies and watch them grow.